Daddy Issues: Love, Loss, and the Legacy That Raised Her
When Tunde and Ifeoma first met, it was the kind of love people wrote songs about. It was full of laughter, late-night conversations, and dreams that stretched far into the future. Soon, they were married, ready to build a family together.
Their first child was a boy, and Tunde beamed with pride. Their second child, another boy; their third, yet another boy. Each arrival was celebrated, but Tunde often said one of his life’s deepest desires was to be a girl-dad. He wanted to walk his daughter to school on her first day, warn her first boyfriend to be careful, and one day, hold her hand down the aisle.
Years later, Ifeoma discovered she was finally expecting a girl. Tunde was ecstatic. He painted her nursery himself, bought tiny pink shoes she wouldn’t wear for years, and joked about being the oldest dad at school pick up.
But life has a way of twisting joy with sorrow. Around the same time, Tunde received devastating news: an aggressive, inoperable cancer diagnosis. He passed away before he could ever meet his baby girl.
She was named Abidemi, which translates to Born in the absence of the father.
Navigating life without a Father
Bidemi, as she was fondly called, grew up knowing her father only through pictures, stories, and the misty-eyed smiles of her mother and brothers. Yet somehow, on the milestones that mattered most, he was always there.
- At 10, right before her birthday party, Bidemi received her first letter from him, tucked neatly beside a heart-shaped gold necklace he had bought long before she was born.
- At 16, when she graduated from secondary school, she was handed another gift: a fully funded tuition package for a prestigious UK university. Her father had planned it.
- At 21, after she walked across the stage to receive her degree, she received an email about a seed fund her father had set aside to kickstart her adult life.
- At 26, when she got engaged, she wondered how bittersweet the wedding would be without him. But once again, her father showed up. The wedding of her dreams was paid for, down to the very last flower.
